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| Jiah Khan |
Ultimately
the suicide note of Jiah Khan is found by her mother and note is as follows:
“I don’t know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing
to lose. I’ve already lost everything. If you’re reading this I might have
already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this
but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet
you tortured me every day.
These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up. There was a time I
saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel
dead inside. I’ve never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much.
You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn’t matter how many gifts I
gave you or how beautiful I looked for you.
I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have
caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can’t
eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The
career is not even worth it anymore.
When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for
you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don’t know why destiny
brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I
have seen previously I didn’t deserve this.
I didn’t see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared
that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and
women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you.
So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I
received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it,
decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with
anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted
you to feel how you make me feel constantly.
No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I
can write that in my blood. Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth
it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love
wants to abuse you or threatens o hit you or cheats on you telling other girls
they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to
go and you’ve come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they
make you chase after them in their car.
Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister. I bought your sister
presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted
was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my
partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me.
I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had
in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I
have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you
took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for
you for ten days and you didn’t bother buying me something.
The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent
on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas
and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your
birthday special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised
me once we made it to one year we would get engaged. All you want in life is
partying, your women and your selfish motives.
All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money
on you selflessly you would throw in my face. When I would cry for you. I have
nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like
I loved you.
